Taking the plunge

I may have done the most ridiculous thing a person can do in today's fragile economy - I quit my job. For a long time now, I have been debating internally about how I feel about the job I am currently working. My boss is a crook, and that is a known fact. There is no upward mobility at my job, I make the most money possible. I work in a basement with mice and mold. I take orders from my boss' particularly hostile personal assistant (who didn't even graduate high school). I wonder to myself how I got here, and why I am still here. Oh right, because I haven't found another job.

So I said FUCK IT. I decided that I deserve more, and I can no longer subject myself to an unhealthy and hostile work environment. I am actively seeking a new job, and I am scared sick that it will not be as easy as it has been in past years to find one. I have some time before new income becomes necessary (thank you savings account) But at the same time, I am so excited to be freed from this building, this business, this boss, this bullshit!!! Three years is a long time to dump into a dump like this.

Maybe I will get another office job. Maybe I will work in retail. Maybe I will work for myself and free-lance writer or sell fucking Avon. Maybe I will get an internship and just be a broke college student. It doesn't matter to me. My number one priority is my future career as an American Literature professor. That's what matters. That's what matters. That's what matters (repetition is for my sake)

Notes on Baby-Dicking

My favorite phrase (copy-write pending) is on the top of raisin brain this morning. Perhaps because I was yelling it repeatedly through a whiskey haze, perhaps because it was so incredibly relevant recently.

Or perhaps I have caught myself in the act of baby-dicking.

Baby-dicking: an expression that can be interchangeable with "pussy-footing" around. IE - someone who is not living up to their potential as a badass, not being physical present to defend oneself, or bailing on friends/events for less than badass reasons

I confess my baby-dicking while engaging in the act. You see, this morning I am working alone in a basement in a building in the middle of Detroit's east residential area. That is long from for "the hood". I am working in a windowless basement with mice and cockroaches. I am covered in a blanket and wearing two sweatshirts because it is 40 degrees down here. My boss has rejected my requests for a space heater. I am of the understanding that he expects me to buy one for myself if I would like to thaw my hands enough to type. The mold has triggered my allergies and I cannot shake my sinus infection. The mold creeps from all corners, the ceilings are falling in under the weight of mold and water damage. This place is a shit hole and I work in the icy-cold taint of the beast.

I am watching myself not bother to dress for work because I am going to be alone and shivering in a corner all day. I am watching myself baby-dick around with the acceptable conditions I deserve as an employee. I have the most continuous seniority of any office staff. I have the most education of any office staff. I am working in the corner of a basement. I am cold. (I am NEVER cold, ask my boyfriend) I am checking out as the days drag by...

I need to stop baby-dicking around.